Monday, March 02, 2015

Today in talk-back.

I've spent the day reading discussion posts and job applications. Commenting and scoring, occasionally out loud. Chatting with the occasional other human, but mostly: commenting and scoring, occasionally out loud.

one of the humans with whom I chatted. (with
fancy Google Hangout Drawing Action.)

***

When I got home, I noted that this was on my counter:






oh how I love a fresh box of raisins!





Can you read that? Kind of blurry, I guess. Apparently Sun-Maid sees itself as a servant of American families...and the world.

And the world.

By purveying raisins and other dried fruits, I guess? and also, its "century of experience answers all your questions on raisins and dried fruits--their unique characteristics, their history, and how they are grown processed, marketed, and enjoyed throughout the world." Because there's an ebook, you guys. A 100th Anniversary eBook (don't forget those capital letters!). I kind of want to get this eBook, while I'm simultaneously laughing about it.

Let me just say, to be clear, that I am pro-raisin. Particularly pro-golden raisin. They are among the royalty of raisinry (the Sultana is perhaps the King? But also that Trader Joe Gargantuan Raisin Medley is just the best--it is an argument for the whole American way, maybe?). And I'm not even going to make the turn you're predicting--"but this Anniversary eBook with gratuitous capital letters is a BRIDGE TOO FAR!" (speaking of gratuitous capital letters.) Nope.

But I will say that a raisin purveyor as a servant of American families...now THAT is straight up pompous. I would rather they just said, "Our raisins are the best." Nothing else. Think of the marketing--if they said it that way, the letters would be enormous. HUGE. And thus memorable, in the way of all huge things, such as The Hulk, Andre the Giant, Godzilla, King Kong, and those Trader Joe Gargantuan Raisins in the Medley. So good, you guys.

***

I am similarly pro-doughnut, as readers of this blog are already aware. But let me tell you that when you, and perhaps your son who is shopping with you, buy a dozen doughnuts that come in a plastic box, such as this one, at a grocery store:

twelve of these, and they are not everything they could
be, I'm sorry to say.
you can pretty much count on the fact that they are not going to be full of Bakery Fresh Goodness,

LIES.




no matter what the label says.

4 comments:

MJ said...

I love this! Too much!

Nik said...

You are making me long for raisins.

Amelia said...

A disappointing donut? The worst!!

Isaac said...

I thought this would be more about me and less about donuts and raisins. False advertising indeed.

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