Wednesday, March 25, 2015

The Megastore Recommends: Outfits Edition.

The people, I have a lot of sweaters. And the sweaters I'm talking about are my winter sweaters, not even all the sweaters. There is a whole nother subset of summer sweaters and spring sweaters. I'm just saying, sometimes when you have a big day and it's 11:30 at night, the sweaters might be a little overwhelming.

But the big day demands it: the outfit must be assembled, the sweaters must yield one of their kind to complete the ensemble, and a scarf must rise from all its sisters folded in the scarf box. In other words, the 'what to wear' of the big day must be prepared, just as the documents for the big day have been organized into their Google Drive file, and the sandwiches have been ordered, and the schedule has been published high and low, and individual emails to a billion people have been sent. For clothes maketh the woman, or something, and also: shoes maketh the big day bearable to contemplate, if they are comfortable.

Did I say I was going to recommend some things? Okay, I will recommend:

not my dress.
1. A new dress. I'm recommending this even if you have a lot of old dresses, as I do, or if you don't wear dresses, then a lot of old whatever it is you do wear. (No offense.) Sometimes, a new dress just crystallizes a moment. It speaks to you. It says: Wear me and you shall feel polished, pulled together, efficient. It says: Wear me and there shall be no residue of old, ordinary days.  I know: my clothes should probably not be taking this hortatory tone with me. But when you have an immanent big day, you'll take the wisdom you get, even if said wisdom emanates from a plain but stylish gray sheath dress with slash pockets, which is what sold it to you in the first place.

not my scarf.
2. Silk scarf. Will never go amiss, and that is no overstatement. How light! how shimmery! How very bright and yet elegant it is. It came from someplace exotic, it was brought home to me by a friend, I bought it at T.J. Maxx--whatever its provenance, it's silk and silk means business, scarf-wise, and in terms of pulling the outfit together.

cute! (but not
my cardigan.)
3. Cardigan. Have I shared with you my love of the cardigan? Perhaps not, so let me just say: I have become a collector--it's exactly the right word, not to say hoarder--of cardigans. I like them a little on the long side and sometimes a lot on the long side, and I like them thin, and I like them in all the colors. Despite the fact that I have a lot of cardigans (see above: I have a lot of sweaters), I am not sure that I have all the cardigans I need. For instance, I may or may not have enough pink cardigans. Be that as may be: I am lucky that a persimmon colored cardigan spoke from the depths of my sweater cupboard and reminded me that gray and orange are a good combination, especially in the spring, and especially for a big day, when a shot of color may just be the thing that gets me through.

you know I wish these
were my shoes. (but
these are not my shoes.)
4. Snappy shoes. Also may be the things that get me through, especially if they are (a) pearl gray, and (b) low-heeled. Which mine are. So, I'm just saying that, with these shoes and the other outfit components I have recommended above, the odds of my big day tomorrow going okay seem ever so slightly more likely to be be in my favor.

Either that, or I'll have to fight to the death in The Hunger Games. But, you know, that scarf--it can probably be used as a slingshot and a garrote--it's that versatile.


  1. Good luck on this big day. I hope it all goes well, which is surely will, because you will be dressed to kill (hopefully figuratively).

  2. I too love the cardigan. And new clothing of all types. Remember when I used to buy new outfits for AWP? Maybe I should do that again??



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