Breathing.

Last night, I slept something like a normal amount. That felt like a miracle. I am now, I would guess, like 22% caught up. I intend to make gains on that figure tonight, but I guess we'll see.

Last night when we were walking the dog, the historian said, "...and you were going to work out tomorrow, right?" and I realized that I was faking not having an agenda for the weekend, so I could feel like there was room for taking a breath. Like I would be able to make myself believe that there was nothing but room for breathing.

Even so, today I ran up the canyon to

• put a deposit down on my daughter's wedding venue (!), and then I did 
• work out (which felt amazing), and then 
• to Joann's (more about this below), and then 
• to the grocery store, which felt so overwhelming that I purchased pretty much nothing but snacks and grapes. And then 
• I came home and checked Canvas to make sure that no one was having a freak out (no one was), and 
• thought about what I was going to do tomorrow.

Last night, I thought we might go see an Argentine film tonight, but today I decided that "half Almodovar, half Tarantino" sounded toooooo gruesome, even if the film is a "black comedy." So we saw a sports movie--the kind that is so formulaic that you can point out the parts you just want to skip over--but we both nonetheless enjoyed it enormously. It was formulaic but also something else, something grittier and smarter.

It's been a good day. Tomorrow, I have to

• buy the other groceries I didn't have the strength of will nor the brainpower to buy today
• find the things I should have been able to buy at JoAnn's, if JoAnn's had not turned into an explosion of candy-colored, fluffy fleece-n-crafts since the last time I visited. JoAnn's! Why are you such a whirligig of madness, wherein it is impossible to buy the ribbon I want and grommets, because they are not to be found? 
• hang up my clothes
• straighten my study (it has reached the point where the squalor is actively competing with my ability to focus)
• maybe buy some plants and plant them, or maybe I will do that on Monday.

And also: breathe. Nothing but breathing.