Thursday, May 07, 2015

Short letters to America.

Dear America,

The vegetarian sandwich option used to be cheese. Cheese sandwich is a time-honored, noble tradition. Hummus on whole wheat with lettuce? Not a time-honored, noble tradition. Green tortilla filled with cold vegetables and a dubious dressing? Not a time-honored, noble tradition. Please return to time-honored noble traditions such as Muenster with brown mustard, pickle, and tomato, with lettuce.

At least the noble traditions of my vegetarian people.

Don't make me regret my vegetarian(-esque) return,

htms


*****

Dear America,

My grading is not, as it were, begun. Someone needs to begin it. Probably me. As it were. So please, stop having meetings that I have to go to, agreed to go to, or in some cases, called myself. America, help me help myself, and help me, thereby, start grading.

I don't see any other way,

htms

*****

Dear America,

Is it too much to ask that my comfortable shoes be comfortable for all day long?

I don't think so,

htms

*****

Dear America,

I really really really really really really really want to start writing on Monday. PLEASE help me get my grading started, middled, and finished by then.

I'll take any help you have to offer,

htms

2 comments:

radagast said...

Ask NOT what your country can do for you . . . etc. Bootstraps, vis a vis pulled-up-by-one's-own. Nope. I can't sustain that line of thinking. Not when there's cheese on the line.

Katherine Of It All said...

Get it together, America!

I still think you should maybe let Bruiser take a whack at the grading.

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