Be it resolved that reliable internet is a basic human right, like oxygen, water, and an accessible Target. Be it doubly resolved that, when one must spend the night in an unfamiliar place, without one's own pillow and dog, reliable internet is even more critical and necessary and without-which-one-simply-cannot. Footnote to the double resolution: it is right out of bounds that the internet should work before one goes to one's four hour board retreat, but then should be coy and wishy washy and oh-I-don't-know after the four hour board retreat.
People have promises to keep that require reliable internet. Emails to answer and Facebook to check and, you know, a thing on eBay that they're watching. And promises to keep!
In conclusion, quaint hotels-stroke-resorts without reliable internet are like wolves in sheep's clothing. Or, really, more like malaise-in-fresh-air's-clothing. Your quaint is nothing to me, hotel-stroke-resort, unless you have razor sharp blazing fast internet.
That is all.