Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Alternative careers (installment 334).

There's a fashion blog that I love so much it actually makes me wince a little--Go Fug Yourself (Because Fugly is the New Pretty). I have shared this blog (wherein the Fug Girls skewer with rapier-like wit the fashions of CelebWorld) with a few of you, I know, but not with everyone, because I don't want you all to think I'm shallow like that. I envy these bloggers, because they are hilarious and observant and also because I am convinced that their job is to look at magazines, read e-mail, and watch trash television--and then to write hilarious and observant posts about it all. Then eat Cheetos and drink Diet Coke. Not that I would ever do that.

But this feature, on New York Magazine's The Cut blog (which the Fug bloggers edit), absolutely tears it. In this case, they're sharing their shopping expertise in a little thing they call "Shop-a-Matic." Each installment of Shop-a-Matic gives you a whole bunch of variations on a theme--in this case, spring dresses--in all price ranges. It's fun to click through the slideshow (No. No. Never. Maybe. No. No. Too expensive. Wait, I think I just saw that at Target. Seriously? Ooooh!). But as I was clicking away, thinking to myself, those Fug Girls have the best job EVER, I realized, Hey. I don't need this so-called Shop-a-Matic! I AM Shop-a-Matic!

The people, I am hereby offering you my services as your own personal ShopRobot. All you need to do is tell me what you're looking for, and I will find you something awesome that expresses your personal gorgeousness. That's right, you heard me: tell me the kind of clothing you want and I will find it for you, and at a price you can afford.

Do you need
  • Black linen cropped trousers?
  • Spring-y floral floaty top?
  • Tee shirt in a silky soft but not-too-sheer fabric?
  • A clever bag in just the right size and shape?
  • Sculptural shoes?
Like a robot, which as we all know is made by science, I will use my proprietary algorithms to locate these items of clothing for you, and more. And to think, all you have to do is ask.


  1. You know I need your services. I'll pay you in Cheetos and Diet Coke! I love the Go Fug Yourselves girls. They're the Dr. Johnson's of the fashion world.

  2. Lynn told me about Go Fug Yourself, and I'm seriously addicted to it now. Will makes fun of me. The funny thing is, I don't really care about fashion, but I love the blog. I especially love the dialogues. Reading the classical rhetoric dialogues for class this semester, I am happy to know that the form is alive and well with the Fug girls.

    I totally need your shopping help. I am frumptastic these days. when I have money to spend on clothes, I'm going to email you.

  3. You get dental with that?

  4. I am sure I want one of each, at least, and I am completely sure you will find exactly what I want. I so so need something like a shopping robot and if I could get your Nordstrom girl to figure out my makeup--holy cow, a new me for spring!

    Whoa, somebody settle me down.

  5. I suppose I am just old-fashioned, but I can't see asking you to shop for any of those items!



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