Wednesday, September 23, 2015

FAQ.

Q: Do you take requests?

A: YES, but only if your requests are for (a) waffles, (b) my opinions about movies, (c) my opinions about politics, (d) my advice about shopping, (e) a compliment about your shirt, or to (f) borrow one of my books or some music or a quarter. If your request is for other things, please submit it in writing and my people will review it and get back to you in thirty (30) days or thirty (30) minutes.

Q: Are the facts on your blog actual facts?

A: All facts are, indeed, factual, which is to say, they are fact-flavored. Fact-flavoring on this blog is made of actual fact-concentrate. Facts on this blog are subject to a ten percent exaggeration bloom.

Q: What is a 'hightouchmegastore'?

A: It is a large ('mega') store ('place you buy things'), wherein the sensory load is set at a steady 125% level ('hightouch').  Basically, it's Target.

frequently asked questions.

Q: What did you buy at Target today?

A: HA nothing none of your business nothing.

Q: Do you have a favorite noise?

A: Almost any noise that is not someone or something crying. Or, almost any noise, so long as it comes from a great distance.

Q: What is your favorite close-up noise?

A: Right now, crickets in the backyard, the rumble of the swamp cooler, the sound of the bed linens just lying there, waiting.

Q: Why don't you just go to bed?

A: Too easy. It's not midnight yet.


1 comment:

Amelia said...

I would like your opinion about why they don't serve waffles at the movies. Discuss.

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