Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Lost and found.

Found: my earring, dark purple teardrop with fishhook back. On colleague's backyard deck by firebowl, near where I was sitting.

Overheard (in Scotland):

Mother: Miriam, we need to turn the lights off when we leave a room. Electricity costs mommy and daddy money!

(sometime later) Mother, taking clothing off the line, singing to herself.

Miriam (possibly with clenched teeth): Stop singing! It costs us money!

[I'm thinking that anything even remotely irritating could be said to cost us money: dog hair (stop shedding! it costs us money!), fruitflies (stop swarming! it costs us money!), insomnia (stop keeping me up at night! it costs us money!) . . .]

New: inky, self-applied manicure in a color called "Moscow at Midnight." I am a big fan of these very dark fingernails. I am, in fact, enamored of my nail enamel. This, despite the fact that, while shopping for this polish, I dropped a bottle of it in the store and it shattered and splattered, dear readers, everywhere, including on my own ankles and knees.

Me: I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! (meaning: I am utterly and completely humiliated by my shameful lack of coordination and propensity for shattering inky nailpolish everywhere).

Salesperson: It's no problem. Really. Bottles of polish get dropped all the time. You'd be surprised.

Me: I will pay for it, really. I'm so sorry.

Salesperson: No, you're fine. Really. It happens all the time. You'd be surprised. One time a customer dropped a bottle of polish and then got mad at me about it. Like it was my fault. You're being nice. That really helps.

[The customer got mad? As in, how dare you have nail polish that might drop and shatter? In glass bottles, I ask you! I should sue you for having breakable nail polish bottles that might splatter all over my ankles. And knees! My knees have inky polish on them! I should sue!]

Me: I'm so sorry, I really apologize.

Her: You're fine, really. Don't worry. It happens all the time.

And I walk away with splatters of dark dark dark nail polish. On my ankles and on my knees.

(stop splattering nail polish! It costs us money!)

3 comments:

Scorpion's Tail said...

It all costs money and I seem to only be good at spending it, not making it or saving it.....

Come to think of it, I might need some nail polish.

Dr. Write said...

Stop apologizing! It costs us money!
If Son was going to say that it would be "stop using your computer, it costs us money!" "stop yelling! It costs us money!" etc.
I want to see your new nail polish.

DiaNe said...

sam and I go through a similar ordeal as Miriam and mom. If I am saying something too loudly or something that he doesn't want to hear, he'll say, "Shh...you'll wake the baby".

Every time.

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