Tuesday, May 03, 2016

Areas of my expertise.

Today I was having a chat with my Scotland daughter, in which I made the claim that one of the things I was known for was taking my time getting up in the morning. (other things I am known for, according to me: red lipstick, my on-the-fly rhetorical touch. Also poetry prize winning, but that's really only for the period between August 2014 and April 2015.)

Today, I was also good at

  • granola making
  • being super productive in my super quiet house
  • reading and writing comments for ALL of my English 2010 students on their final projects. That's right: ALLLLLLLLLL.
  • retrieving packages from the porch
  • answering Shaun T when he said, from the television, 'I wanna hear you say it!' ('I can do it!')
  • listening to Lemonade like it is my job (mostly while I was working out at, and on my way home from, the gym).
Things that are not the area of my expertise:
  • equanimity in the face of officious sounding emails
  • tidiness, obviously
  • being able to accept the inevitable as, you know, real.
But I am expert at
  • choosing an outfit with extra insouciance and double-extra sparkle for a slightly swanky evening event ('cocktail attire'). (N.B.: I am truly sorry I do not have a picture of this outfit. Mostly I'm sorry for myself. And sorry for my Outfit Archives, which will have to accept words and memories [tulle skirt, bejeweled tee, tuxedo jacket, all grey; extra fancy new shoes] instead of the ocular proof.)
  • eating a Pop Tart after the dog walk
  • opinion mongering (I'm so good at this!)
  • blue sky thinking (also expert at this!)
So, you know. If you need an expert in any of the above, you know who to call.

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