Tuesday, March 06, 2007

Why the University of Utah should hire me to replace Ray Giacoletti as head coach of the men's basketball team.

1. I love basketball!
2. I have picked up many techniques, pointers, and a coaching philosophy from years of watching Jerry Sloan coach the Utah Jazz.
3. I am a BYU alumna, and so could give the Utes insight into the Cougar mind.
4. They have trainers and assistant coaches for the actual basketball part.
5. Unlike most people, who use sports as a source of metaphor for other things, as a poet, I would bring a unique ability to supply new metaphors for sports.
6. If, for reasons I can't conceive of now, I should prove to be unsatisfactory and they were forced to fire me, I could happily live on the severance package.

1 comment:

Counterintuitive said...

Most hilarious. If you don't get the job, I think you should at least get some contract work (say $200 an hr) to create new metaphors for them. The right metaphor=success, right?

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