Monday, December 14, 2015

I would like to make a few statements. (Snow Day Edition)

1. Our analysts here at hightouchmegastore have determined that last night's bout of insomnia was caused by equal proportions of snow light (it was snowing and it was going to snow), The List (which is endless), and the grading.

diagram of the causes of my insomnia.

2. Insomnia has a deleterious effect on one's get up and go.

To wit: I woke up at 7:30. Then I woke up at 8:30. Then I began consulting my will to live. I considered the fact that my eyes still felt tired. Also my arms.

Then I woke up again at 9:45. I felt hungry. But if I am going to work out, I thought, I should work out before I eat. But I felt hungry! But the workout! This went on for quite some time, and all from a prone position.

In the end, after taking the pulse of my will to live every five minutes or so, I got up and worked out, and then I made pancakes. And thus my will to live was revived.

diagram of my will to live, vis a vis
not enough sleep (xref: deleterious effects).

3. Snow day without an oven is possibly a little bit pointless. I mean, why bother.

4. EXCEPT: you can snug up and do your laundry and fake-grade and eat toast and make tea. And wear a wooly sweater. And tidy up. And turn on every Christmas light in the house. So, not entirely pointless.

5. Speaking of grading: I totally meant to grade all day today. But grading made my tired eyes feel extra-tired. Also, grading threatened to set back my revived will to live. So I made a couple of passes at it. I feinted and dodged it. I looked at it from a great distance. I made a charcoal sketch of it. I came up with metaphors for it. And made some more toast and drank some more tea, and changed the sheets on my bed.

diagram of how I evaded actual grading.

6. Tonight, on Bruiser's walk, the snow came down thick and soft. The prints his paws made on the snowy walk were lovely.

7. I will grade tomorrow, by Grabthar's hammer. By Grabthar's hammer, tomorrow I will grade!

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