Friday, February 25, 2011

A little tragic.

Brief statements concerning the movies.

1. In our preparations for the Academy Awards, we have been unstinting. We have seen the documentary shorts, the people. THE SHORTS.

However, we have not viewed 127 Hours, citing the little-known "I am not required to watch movies where guys saw off their own arms" clause of the Movie Enthusiast's Commitment Contract. Nor have we seen Javier Bardem in Biutiful. Javier Bardem is, indeed, biutiful, but I understand from my "sources" (two young women we talked to in the lobby at the movies last week) that the movie is hella depressing.

Therefore, we ate Mexican food and I watched episodes of Veronica Mars.

[brief aria on Veronica Mars:] O! Veronica! Had I known how very good you were, I would not have said, "Who in the hell is this Kristen Bell?" when I first saw Forgetting Sarah Marshall. Instead, I would have basked in the glow Veronica Mars cast forever upon Kristen Bell, kind of like the glow The Man Who Would Be King and, let's be honest, all the James Bonds, cast forever upon Sean Connery, even though he mostly made crap for most of his career. I love Veronica Mars, and that is all.

Also, we watched the 30 Rock episode we missed last night because we went to a poetry reading. High culture! It is so distracting from important television!

2. There are certain people whose performances was robbed in terms of Oscar nominations. As if you care, right, but in case you do:
  • Leonardo DiCaprio, for Shutter Island;
  • Pierce Brosnan, for The Ghost Writer;
  • Greta Gerwig, for Greenberg;
  • Andrew Garfield for every single thing he was in this year;
  • Noomi Rapace, for all those Girl With movies;
  • Catherine Keener, for Please Give;
  • Russell Brand, for Get Him to the Greek;
  • Bill Murray, Robert Duvall, and Sissy Spacek, for Get Low;
  • Matt Damon, for True Grit.
Also, are we sure we didn't find Andrew Garfield's to be a likable character in The Social Network? I am pretty sure that he was.

3. We will be watching the Academy Awards with family. There will be food and there will be friendly wagering. And probably loud talking and some arguing. It will be great.

4. I was so tired tonight, at the end of a looooong four-day week, that I didn't want to go see a worthy movie. And there weren't any unworthy ones I wanted to see. That is a little tragic, in my own personal opinion, if you want to know.

But I did find out that the lead guy from The Dandy Warhols, Courtney Taylor-Taylor, has a series of one sentence movie reviews on the official The Dandy Warhols website. Sample review: Of the 1967 Lee Marvin Point Blank, Taylor-Taylor says this: "This movie is so totally fuggin cool that I didnt really mind the little bit of bad acting and editing which included some real ham-fisting by Star Trek’s very own Dr Roger Corby whose name it took me going to sleep and waking up to fully recall without any help from imdb."

Oh, okay, another one: of the aforementioned 2008 Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Taylor-Taylor says, "Don’t let the lame-ass “Something-ing Someone” title fool you, this flick is only about twelve lines shy of being the perfect gutbusting break up comedy of all time."

(I don't think I could get sick of writing "Taylor-Taylor" for a very long time.)

(Also, the reason I am listening to The Dandy Warhols and going on their website and reading their one-sentence movie reviews and all is not because of one of the greatest songs of all time, "The Last High," but because the theme song for Veronica Mars is a The Dandy Warhols song. And it is good. The people, I am in the grip of a small obsession.)


  1. I feel like you deserve a grant or something for all this movie watching you do. It's like a second job, no?

    Love the one-line movie reviews.

  2. We used to be friends, a long time ago, we used to be friends.....

  3. So true, Middlebrow. So true. Also true, Amelia, although I am unfamiliar with the reference. But I know you to be true.

    I so agree with your assessment of both Brosnan and Damon. Damon gets recognized, though. I don't Brosnan gets the respect he deserves.

    I hope your oscar watching evening was joyful!



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