Saturday, September 07, 2013

ALERT there are bees in my kitchen.

Or something like bees. Two of them, to be precise. Plural: bees.

Why? Because I am chopping mint and making tabbouleh? Or because there was sugar out for the pie?

Bees, like spiders and moths, do not belong in the house, in my opinion. And mice. Bees, spiders, moths, and mice all belong in the out of doors where there will actually be more opportunities for them. Or, fewer opportunities. I am, actually, stony and hard of heart on the subject of bees, spiders, moths, and mice. Circle of life, my friends, circle of life.

[note: I do want there to be bees in the world. I am not without mercy. I am not killing the bees. But I can't believe that the two bees in my kitchen are actually doing the bee-world any favors. The future of bees cannot lie in hanging around my kitchen while I chop mint. That just wouldn't be sustainable.]

All I'm saying is that I was making tabbouleh, but the bees have forced a retreat. As in, I cannot be in the kitchen, tabbouleh, mint, pie or no, if there are also bees, end of story.

America: keep your bees outside, with the flowers and trees and heat and dirt and wasps and, hopefully, spiders, moths, and mice. I need to add the mint, parsley, red onion, garlic, salt and pepper to the tabbouleh, stat! It's like a Mexican standoff up in here, with the two bees and their stingers and me with my scaredy-cat ways.

Bees! Get out!

That is all.

5 comments:

gilian said...

dogs = indoor pets.
bees = not indoor and not pets.
out bees out.

Nik said...

What is your approach to bee removal? It sounds similar to mine: Open a door or window wide. Go in another room. Wait the bees out. Hope new bees do not come in.

Stephanie said...

May I also add to the list of creatures that must remain outside the following: roaches, ants, cicadas and palmetto bugs (nasty flying beasties that are 5-10x as big as a roach, with wings). I try to be friendly to all living creatures, but discovering and and/or all of these four in my house makes me pause and wonder if it's worth it.

Good luck with the stand-off!

Ann said...

What everybody else here said. As they say on Radio from Hell, bees are one of the things that must go.

radagast said...

My four-year old grandson was stung by something during his soccer game, Saturday, so I'm not currently too keen on those of the apian persuasion. Much weeping and wailing and being carried away by grandpa for some ice and a band-aid (Spiderman)ensued. His metaphysical question, after the tears had subsided: "Why didn't the bee sting the OTHER team? I was about to score a goal!"

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