Monday, July 05, 2010

Two days and counting.

Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, today I looked into the abyss that is my soul and was a little terrified by what I saw there. Which is to say, my daughter came over and helped me clean my kitchen. I had already done a once over and a twice over and was congratulating myself a little bit on how spiffy certain areas of my kitchen were looking. But my daughter does not believe in congratulating yourself on a clean (-ish) counter when there is the devil behind your cupboard doors. And by "the devil," I mean pretty much everything about the way I carry out my daily kitchen affairs.

Let's take, as just one example, my candle situation. I had, in the way of candles, many a votive, tea-light, pillar, and taper. I also had a half-burnt candle in the shape of an evergreen tree. Well, half of an evergreen tree. As you might surmise, this candle was a Christmas purchase. I had not actually set eyes on this candle in at least a couple of years. At least! Moreover, I also had candles that were set into pieces of bamboo, or maybe simulacra of pieces of bamboo. These I had purchased when this same daughter got married, for a party along a luau theme. Which was about five years ago. Literally, the last time these candles cast flame, it was five years ago. The world was younger then, and probably my cupboards were just as messy.

My daughter held up a lone little votive candle. I sobbed a little. She held it ever more firmly for my inspection. My shoulders sagged.

"Okay." I said.

"Good girl," she said.

This went on and on. There are many categories of kitchen items that were culled, sifted, and within those categories, many items weighed in the balance and found wanting. It was a veritable Day of Judgement at my house. Many were the colanders, old hand mixers, sandwich makers, electric kettles, ancient food items, spent tins of spice, and bad tea choices that were cast into the fiery pit, aka the garbage bin or the Goodwill bag.

Each and every cupboard and drawer is now organized, spare, and sparkling. I am chastened. My daughter is something of a champion--something like Jesus driving the moneychangers from the temple, but with kitchen dirt and stuff as the moneychangers, and my kitchen as the ancient temple. Well, now it's a temple.
And in two days, there will be visitors from Scotland at my house. I dare them to mess my kitchen up.


  1. This is a feat that deserves praise...way to go you for letting go of everything.
    Way to go Sophie for cracking the proverbial whip. I love it.

  2. Wowza. That sounds like a job and a half. Good thing S. is the woman for that job. Good work both of you for getting that done!

  3. Oh come to me, daughter of Lisa who will save my kitchen from myself. Cast out my crumby demons and bags of pinto beans.

  4. I want a cup of tea and slice of cake in that sparkler of a kitchen. Yes, I do. I'd even wash my own plate and cup.

  5. I will clean and organize anyones kitchen or any room for that matter for a small fee. I am really good at it.

  6. Amen, Nik. Just what I wanted to say. Especially today when I return and find the builders have moved entire cabinets-worth of devilment to the front room, lined up in neat array.

    But this, yes?, is another good thing about having grown up daughters? Who go away but also come back and work their wonders?

  7. I find it comforting that an excellent cook like yourself has bric-a-brac in her kitchen. I have a lot of it. And also I love the word bric-a-brac.

    The word verification word is "phrediro." I could learn to love that word, too.

  8. Sophia--How do you feel about storage rooms?

  9. It looks amazing! way to go everyone!



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