Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Overpacking: a manifesto.

hen in the course of the semester it happens to be spring break, and therefore it becomes necessary to go to Los Angeles so that the people do not have their heads explode from The Teaching, and to drive therefore first to St. George, and then to California, from thence to parts hither and thither across the great Los Angeles basin, a decent respect to the possible activities and outings of this vacation requires that the people assemble many many many items for the journey:

Therefore, I hold these clothes to be self-evident, that the people should be able to have an orange skirt and also a denim skirt and also two gray skirts, that people are endowed by their Creator with certain inalienable shoes, that among these are platform sandals and also two different pairs of sneakers and two pairs of ballet flats.

To secure these clothes (and accessories), large suitcases are instituted, deriving their just mobility from tiny little wheels and also collapsible handles. And when any suitcase becomes inadequate to the inalienable clothing, it is the right of the people to get a bigger suitcase, and lay the shoes upon the bottom of it so they don't dirty the clothes, and pile the clothes willy-nilly upon the shoes, never mind, there will be time to sort that out later. In the motel.

For while economy of packing is admirable and not a trivial thing, all experience has shown that the people, when the long train of usurpations of clothing rights occurs, the people suffer, for what if there is not a good outfit for going out to dinner? And do you really expect me to wear the same pants two days in a row? Such a design is absolute despotism, and under such, it is the right, it is the duty of the people to thrown off this despotic design and bring way more outfits and possible parts of possible outfits, such as ten different tee shirts, you never know.

Let facts be submitted to a candid world: you might need a shopping outfit, a going to the beach outfit, a laying around the room ensemble. And what about museums? and a possible hike? and Palm Springs, what do people wear there anyway?

What I'm saying is, I am going to bring all these clothes, and with a firm reliance on a big trunk and an empty back seat, no one is going to stop me.


  1. Other possible ensembles you might need: a let's-go-get-some-sushi outfit, a let's-go-take-a-walk-at-sunset outfit, and a let's-go-bum-around-West-Hollywood outfit.

    You might also need one for the drive across Nevada, too--a let's-stop-at-this-Arco AM PM-and-play-the-slots-for-five-minutes outfit.

    I understand.

  2. Just drive safe and come back to us. and when you do, don't rub it in about where you've been or how BYU doesn't even get a spring break.

  3. I feel liberated just reading this! I think I have lived too long under the despotism of alienable shoes - though I do have self-evident skirts.

  4. If you're driving, unless you're me and driving with a dog, a cat, a boy, a girl and a pair of skis, I think, why not bring the whole closet?
    I hope you have a great trip!



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