Declension.

1. I will never have a cell phone. I just don't want to be that available.
2. "Look, Mom--look what we got you at the mall!"
3. I ♥ my cell phone!
4. Watch me blog from my cell phone!
5. Oooooh, twitter!
6. I am a txting fiend. Hear me roar.
7. My cell phone is f***ed up. Oh. My. God.
8. Whyyyyyyy won't my cell phone work?
9. My brain is broken.

Six-word memoir.

"I want this, I want that."

Also:

"I love this, I hate that."

Rosy spin update: not as rosy. Did my students revise anything? Do they know anything more about themselves as writers than they did before we all started this ordeal? Are e-portfolios a tool of the Devil, or merely the handmaidens of Satan?

One more six-word memoir: "I am a terrible, terrible teacher."

Also:

"Make the bad bad writing stop."

Or, and lastly,

"Kill me now. I mean it."

(I will flesh these out at some later date. After I've slept for about a week.)