Monday, August 12, 2013

Oh, hello there.

Today I was at Whole Foods buying overpriced, well, everything. Happily, because there's nothing I like better, frankly. Not the overpriced-ness of it all, but the Whole Foods-ness of it all. What can I say? I just like the aroma of virtue all up in there. The eggs. The sugar. The super-expensive vanilla paste. Happy happy happy.

Not my point, however. My point is this: I got to the cashier, loaded my precious commodities onto the conveyer belt, got the total and wrote a check (hi! I'm old.), whipped out my driver's license before the cashier could even ask for it, and then I heard, faintly, as I was putting my pen back in my purse, a voice say, "This is about to expire."

I was all, now what's that? and thought maybe that was some other cashier speaking to some other patron, the way you think, are you talking to ME? when you hear honking nearby when you're driving. I looked up at him. He had my driver's license between his thumb and finger, ready for me to pluck and stow. And I was all, Right. Dammit.

Because he's right: my driver's license is about to expire. Like, at the end of the month. When it is my birthday.

This set in motion a series of mental events:

1. Where is that stuff the D.M.V. mailed me three months ago?
2. Probably in my study.
3. --but where in my study, exactly?
4. Wait: do I have to take a test? Because I don't want to be taking no test.
5. Eeek, what about an eye test!?
6. What should I wear? The last time I got my license renewed, I had new badass boots. What now? What outfit and/or accoutrements will protect me in my hour of need?

...and so forth. 

Like the rest of America, I dread the D.M.V., the people. I'm pretty sure you know the reasons why:

1. crowded.
2. stressful.
3. possible failure putting a critical American survival ability in doubt.
4. what if my eyes have crossed over from just needing reading glasses to needing actual glasses? and I didn't even realize it?

...and so forth.

Well, onward. At least I got some work done today before the bureaucratic state intervened to loom all over my happy bourgeois activities. Leave me alone, bureaucratic state, while I make a frittata and sulk!


  1. Awe crap - I need to renew my license too. Now I have to locate a DMV somewhere in Montgomery. I'd rather make a frittata.

  2. I wish I'd written the line: "I just like the aroma of virtue all up in there." This is going to be my favorite line of the week. I may stitch it on a pillow.

  3. Whole Foods smells a bit like holier-than-thou kale.

  4. I do not like to make sweeping statements, but the DMV here is staffed almost entirely by mean people. As in, the last time I went in, I ended up in tears, being consoled by an off-duty police officer. I hope you get to mail in your stuff.

    Also, more info re: the frittata?

  5. Stephanie, good luck with that! Ann, please let me see that pillow--or a sampler? Radagast, and what's wrong with holier-than-thou kale? (I think you need to write the recipe for that.) Kristen, I made the frittata from potato and onion and chopped up arugula and fresh corn (leftover from the day before), sliced from the cob. I used about a half a ball of fresh mozzarella and some grated young gouda. (I know: "young gouda" sounds hilarious, but that is what was on the label! of the cheese! that I bought at Whole Foods!) I poured the eggs over it all, then threw the cheese all over the top, and put the pan under the broiler till the cheese was bubbly. I also halved some (slightly wrinkled) grape tomatoes and put that on top for the serving and the eating. And lo, it was delicious!

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