Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Talking points.

For an all-purpose talk:
  1. I appreciate the opportunity to speak to you on the subject of [ ].
  2. Here is my premise: [ ].
  3. Here is my evidence: [ ].
  4. Would you like to see my bona fides? I have lots. Lots and lots of bona fides.
  5. Here is my evidence, now represented in some mathematical form, as "data": [ ].
  6. I think you'll agree that all thinking persons must, in the face of reason, logic, and the irrefutable evidence and mathematical data I have placed before you, agree that [ ].
  7. How very interesting, to hear you offer your opinion. I shall listen, and then I shall retort.
  8. While I am willing to grant [ ], you must concede that [ ].
  9. Your assertion--that [ ]--is patent nonsense.
  10. No.
  11. Not at all. Not even. As if.
  12. You, if I may be so bold, are Absurd, and also kind of a butthead.
  13. Perhaps you have forgotten my many, many bona fides?
  14. I believe it was I--myself, moi--who called this meeting. Therefore, pipe down, you.
  15. Very well, have your say.
  16. There is a word, sir, for what you are. That word is "demagogue." Look it up.

5 comments:

Middlebrow said...

Alas, I suspect you'll be using these points a lot this year.

craig p said...

This is a handout for class, right?

(BTW--happy belated b-day!)

Amelia said...

Nonsenes poopy pants!

Also, love the new header!

Dr. Write said...

I like it all, except the part about listening. What's up with that?

gilian said...

Brilliant. I shall file this one for future use when discussing finances with Jr--like tonight!

love, love, love the header.

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