Thursday, July 26, 2007

I would like to lodge a complaint.

Actually, several.

1. Why is it that so many lead vocalists these days affect a sound that is equal parts yelp and someone being strangled? I cite: Kings of Leon, the Clap Your Hands Say Yeah guy a little bit, Wolfmother guy, and possibly others who yodeled egregiously on songs that came up on my iPod today while I was driving around.

2. Certain literary journals act so all-fired prissy about, say, simultaneous submissions, then hand you a rejection slip that is as big as a postage stamp that says, "We shall not be using your manuscript. Thank you, however, for giving us the opportunity to consider it." There is also a picture of a bird called a "Sage Grouse" on this rejection teeny piece o' paper. I find the bird both offensive and, somehow, apropos. Yes, I am grousing about the sage grouse.

3. I love the rainy downpours of tonight and last night. Is there any good reason, however, these storms must knock out my satellite during Mad Men?

Otherwise, things are going swimmingly. Writing, listening to new music, chilling. Post-vacation, I aim to be the queen of chill for the remainder of the summer, until the hammer comes down.

5 comments:

Condiment said...

I love when the rejection isn't even a card, just a Word document cut into lazy strips.

middlebrow said...

I think you should adopt what I call the Lyn Lifshin approach (actually, I think she doesn't use capital letters--ever). So the lyn lifshin approach. Send more than the maximum number of allowed poems to said prissy journal (Prissy Quarterly?). The copies should be poor and it should be obvious that these exact copies have, in fact, been sent elsewhere--been smeared by the grimy hands of volunteer readers and lowly graduate student editors. Then, when you are rejected with the minimalist slip, send an incredulous letter back to Prissy Quarterly demanding the copies your poems back. Refuse to pay postage. Refuse to give in. Act as if you are in the right and they have broken some obvious rule of conduct.

Be sure to report back to me as to how this method works.

Nik said...

I love MB's idea. But it's so sad when the lit mag doesn't even use the papercutter straight when they print off a host of rejections and put (me?) in charge of slicing them in thirds and they get sent out all lopsided. Thewhole system is a drag. At least now that more people allow email submissions the pain of submitting is somewhat lessened. The pain of rejection remains about the same....

Dr. Write said...

I'm so glad you're home! But I am not there to greet you, sadly. But I will be soon. And then we can get together and drink ice tea and lament the coming semester.

DiaNe said...

you put it so nicely...I too would like to be a queen of chill until the hammer falls, but sadly mine is falling quite quickly, what with student teacher meetings and such.

It was good to see you at grandma's the other day.

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