Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Questions from the U.K. (only some of which I know the answers to)

1. Why are beets called beetroot?
2. Why are ruins so fascinating?
3. Why have the Brits not yet come to understand the importance of ice in improving the beverage experience?
4. Why is it that I have watched my first episode of Desperate Housewives here?
5. What is a Pict?
6. Why are chips crisps, fries chips, and diapers napkins/nappies, and napkins serviettes?
7. And by the way, why is a sweater a jumper?
8. Why were there so many French youths, apparently unsupervised, at Loch Ness? And why did one of them have both a Slipknot and a Marilyn Manson decal on his backpack?
9. How old, exactly, is Auld Toon Aberdeen?

and an observation:

10. In really old cemeteries, the monuments stand as thick as trees.

1 comment:

theorris said...

1. Why are beets called beetroot?

Because if you don't call them that then they are Swedes.

2. Why are ruins so fascinating?

Because.

3. Why have the Brits not yet come to understand
the importance of ice in improving the beverage experience?

Because.

4. Why is it that I have watched my first episode of Desperate Housewives here?

Dogs come to mind.

5. What is a Pict?

The Picts were a pre-Celtic and Germanic tribe that hung out up there. Ok--maybe they were Celtic sort of. They were just there and they were bad-asses.

6. Why are chips crisps, fries chips, and diapers napkins/nappies, and napkins serviettes?

What else should they be called? Serviettte is a much daintier name than NAPKIN.

7. And by the way, why is a sweater a jumper?

I remind my friend of the answer I gave moments ago: because.

8. Why were there so many French youths, apparently unsupervised, at Loch Ness? And why did one of them have both a Slipknot and a Marilyn Manson decal on his backpack?

Scandal! The French should never leave France en masse. They are only permitted to leave la France alone and then pester poor unsuspecting co-eds at American or Scottish universities. They can also get boats and explore the deep sea.

9. How old, exactly, is Auld Toon Aberdeen?

A billion years old.

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