Tuesday, July 19, 2005

Jobs I would like to have, and might possibly be qualified for.

1. French baker. (preferably in France)
2. Senior policy analyst. (also preferably in France)
3. Supreme Court Justice. (why, oh why didn't Bush nominate me?)

I would like to know what my readership would rather be doing than the jobs they are doing now (preferably in France).


  1. My favorite job still was when I was a delivery driver in Olympia for Air Data Express. (I had dropped out of college and was living with Sleepy E and two other women. Sleepy E can post on that interesting situation.)

    I drove a big van around Pierce County, delivering weird office supplies to different businesses and big water heaters to egg farms out by Yelm. I also delivered to the old Olympia Brewing Company, how owned by Pabst Blue Ribbon.

    I learned the fine art of road rage and how to swear with total conviction.

    I still daydream sometimes about being a stand up comic.

  2. As to the French connection, the French loved Jerry Lewis. They could love me as well. They could have a weird, inexplicable fascination with me. Other Americans would simply shake their heads and say, "It's a French thing."

  3. As far as France is concerned, I would like to be a professional tourist, lounging on beaches, eating cheese and drinking wine. Maybe I could be a food/travel writer, like Under the Tuscan Sun, only in France.
    When I was a kid, I used to say I wanted to be "either a brain surgeon or a grocery store checkout lady." I have attained my dream of cashier (at the food co-op though, so it's okay), but it may be too late for the brain surgery thing.

  4. Sometimes I want to be a scientist--not a boring one who sits at his or her desk, but one who has a big lab with lots of pyrex and goes out into the field for scientific reasons.

    Sometimes I also want to be an Italian tour guide, taking groups of Americans around Italy. Why Americans? They tip well.

    Sometime I also want to be a Japanese robot designer.

    Ok my real desire is to be the stand up comic like Mid-B.

  5. I had a short stint as a waiter in New Orleans and hated it. But I could see myself as an alienated younger man waiting tables at a chichi sidewalk cafe in Paris. I would have too much product in my hair and a sharpened, aloof chin. I would take up smoking, read rain-damaged 25-cent existential paperbacks on break, and have countless liasions w/ the moody waitstaff and an unending queue of garter-and-stocking-wearing middle-aged married women who tipped too much...

  6. The fact that you say "product" to describe stuff you put in your hair tells me everything. (my daughter works in a v. fancy salon.)

  7. I used to want to be an astronomer, until I realized that I would have to know calculus. Maybe I should have opted for astrologer.

    I often want to be a baker or a chef.

    I also think I would be an excellent consultant (regarding what, I am not sure).



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