Wednesday, July 13, 2005

High School Imaginary.

I'm going to my 30th high school reunion, don't ask me why. I was talking to my brother last night, who did not go to his 20th (I did); he said, "You had more fun in high school than I did," hypothesizing about why I would spend $200 on a plane ticket (my brother had an extra Southwest fare that they couldn't use before it expired, so donated it to the cause--otherwise it would be $400, since my husband has graciously agreed to accompany me), $150 on a hotel room, and $86 per ticket (including a memory book), in order to go.

It's true, I did have some good times in high school. I was in a singing group, and that was good. I sang all the time back then. I was a pretty good girl, though; when I went back to the area last summer with my best friend MS, she pointed out places in one little beach town where she'd gone to a party, whereas I have absolutely no sweet memories of youthful wild times. None. It's possible I might harbor a few regrets over this fact.

The thing is, when I went to my 20th, I saw only a handful of people I wanted to see: a friend who went to Stanford on whom I had a half-crush for awhile, a couple of people I used to sing with, a guy who's a doctor now (also had a half-crush on him), my friend Joe who's married to Catherine and lives in France. One girl had become a writer for TV--there was a Tony Danza sitcom that lasted just a little while. The big star of all the plays in HS looked very Vegas. A guy who'd been sort of a stoner-surfer combo looked pretty business-y. Sure, there's some interest in seeing what I just described. But where was the one I loved, the one who made me a dulcimer, with whom I had a love affair that ended in sorrow? Where was the boy I wanted to ask to the dance and who wrote the passionate comment in my yearbook?

There's a certain small pathos to it, I guess.

Anyhow, maybe the dulcimer-maker will be there this time. But in any case I'll be there with my husband, staying near the ocean; the morning after, we can take a little tour of the beautiful, wild place where I lived when I was young.


  1. Hey, maybe you can do something wild and dangerous with your husband while you are there--make up for lost opportunities. I just read in Helen Fisher's *Why we love* that doing scary new things with our lovers biochemically causes us to fall deeper in love.

  2. Oh! I *love* high school reunions! I went to my 10th. I was single and had shaved my head recently. It was fantastic! The guy I loved from afar from 7th through 12th grade was there, and he was a recovering alcoholic and worked at a factory. It was nice to know, at last, that I wasn't missing out on anything. AND a guy who treated me like dirt in HS hugged me and apologized "in case" he had ever done anything to hurt me. You can't BUY memories like that. (Oh yeah, and I may have returned to the HS drinking spot with my friends and their toddlers. Surreal.)



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