I'm going to my 30th high school reunion, don't ask me why. I was talking to my brother last night, who did not go to his 20th (I did); he said, "You had more fun in high school than I did," hypothesizing about why I would spend $200 on a plane ticket (my brother had an extra Southwest fare that they couldn't use before it expired, so donated it to the cause--otherwise it would be $400, since my husband has graciously agreed to accompany me), $150 on a hotel room, and $86 per ticket (including a memory book), in order to go.
It's true, I did have some good times in high school. I was in a singing group, and that was good. I sang all the time back then. I was a pretty good girl, though; when I went back to the area last summer with my best friend MS, she pointed out places in one little beach town where she'd gone to a party, whereas I have absolutely no sweet memories of youthful wild times. None. It's possible I might harbor a few regrets over this fact.
The thing is, when I went to my 20th, I saw only a handful of people I wanted to see: a friend who went to Stanford on whom I had a half-crush for awhile, a couple of people I used to sing with, a guy who's a doctor now (also had a half-crush on him), my friend Joe who's married to Catherine and lives in France. One girl had become a writer for TV--there was a Tony Danza sitcom that lasted just a little while. The big star of all the plays in HS looked very Vegas. A guy who'd been sort of a stoner-surfer combo looked pretty business-y. Sure, there's some interest in seeing what I just described. But where was the one I loved, the one who made me a dulcimer, with whom I had a love affair that ended in sorrow? Where was the boy I wanted to ask to the dance and who wrote the passionate comment in my yearbook?
There's a certain small pathos to it, I guess.
Anyhow, maybe the dulcimer-maker will be there this time. But in any case I'll be there with my husband, staying near the ocean; the morning after, we can take a little tour of the beautiful, wild place where I lived when I was young.