Talismans.

Today, I said no less than three times:

My plan is to keep my cool

which, if you know me, is, if not laughable, at least chuckleable. But a bitter chuckle, that's the thing.

Never mind what event or events will call upon me to summon heretofore unheard of reserves of composure and non-pop-off-able wherewithal™. I am pulling together my wits and my chicken bone and--I'm not sure what else I have that is surefire good luck.

Here's what I have going for me:

1. I will be prepared.
2. I have painted fingernails and a killer outfit picked out.
3. I have the powers of critical thinking and rhetoric working in my behalf.
4. I know how to cede things in order to gain a greater goal.
5. I will be there promptly and on time.
6. I will be unfailingly polite.
7. I have the heart of a lion.
8. Comfortable shoes mean feet that will be as fleet as a sprinter's.
9. I will dream power dreams tonight.
10. I have great compassion and understanding.

Also:

...but only if absolutely necessary.

Oh my gosh, no internet.

So, you guys, last night when I checked the tubes not for the last time but for the very last time, everything was working fine.  I connected to Safari and my computer hummed like a busy, efficient bee.  Gmail, blog, Huffington--up-to-date and off to bed.  But this morning, the internet has stopped being my friend, as in our friend, and there are all sorts of errors and problems, and failures to connect.  

Failures.  To connect.  As in, my efforts to connect all failed.

Rebooting like a mad woman has done nothing.  I can't even isolate the problem:  the historian's laptop won't connect, not even with the ethernet cable, but I can't connect to singing son's wireless, so what is it? and why this sudden meltdown?  The thought of talking to some probably very hardworking IT guy on the phone to troubleshoot it all makes me simultaneously itchy and weepy and rage-y.  

I am not amused.