Like a veritable ton of bricks.

The new year just might have it in for me, at least a little bit. Hear me out:

• the Chevy, which college daughter has on an extended loan, so she can get herself to the train station or to her job &c., has--and here, I think it must be argued that these are indicative of the new year's attitude--numerous things wrong with it, including a fuel injector that, if it is not fixed, might, and I am quoting the mechanic here, "set your engine on fire." Ergo,
• college daughter cannot drive the Chevy. Hence,
• I am driving hither and yon, back and forth, to get her from here to there, from home to job to school and back again, with a stop home in the middle so she doesn't smell like a sandwich at school. And another thing:
• is or isn't the world coming to an end, with the apocalypse dancing on its grave? because it sure seems like that at my place of employ, what with the budget cuts and the lettings go of employees, and the seismic, volcanic rumblings I keep feeling/hearing. And, just for good measure,
• the air quality is so horrifying. I hate to take the Bruise for a walk. I feel terrible about the driving hither and yon (be the solution! but how will she get to her job?). And, in a related matter,
• I tried to find running son's high school diploma so he can apply to the Beijing University of Language and Culture (something like that), and I could not find it! Yet another referendum on the quality of my soul, which is disorganized, cluttered, rife with dust bunnies. And drives too much.

Fine, I will desist.

As usual, I am hoping for a routine to rescue me from all this. So I am praying to the Fixerly God of the Sacred Chevrolet that the car will soon be drivable. And I am taking every single thing out of my study this weekend. Every single thing. New Year, listen up: let the Sorting begin.

Hightouchmegastore: The Guides for Living.

Part 178.5: Pie-making lessons.

1. A tart is not a pie.
2. Ergo, a pie is not a tart.
3. Ergo (part 2), tart dough and pie dough are not the same thing and should not be thought of as interchangeable.
4. Sometimes your tart dough, which you may be foolishly attempting to use for pie dough, will be contrary. It may want to raise issues, question your authority, try to show you who's boss.
5. You must not let this happen, even if it means stamping your feet and scaring the dog, a little bit.
6. Piecing and pressing together can solve many pie or tart dough issues.
7. Keep everything cold. Keep yourself cool.
8. Sometimes your blender will not be all it should be, such as when you are trying to puree the pumpkin you have roasted. Swearing at the blender may or may not create the necessary motivation, otherwise known as "blending power," to do the job.
9. Try not to get rubber spatula chunks in the puree whilst pushing the pumpkin into the blades.
10. In the end, regardless of the vicissitudes of pastry, blenders, time and the wicked souls of men, the pie will almost certainly still taste pretty good.
11. Usually, even dang good.