Update on the "Just Enjoy It" Project.

A couple of summers ago, when my son was making plans to move to Arizona, taking with him his lovely family, including two grandson, I made up my mind that, rather than set a bajillion goals for the summer, as is my wont, which invariably leads to anxiety and a midsummer breakdown, I would make a project of just enjoying the summer. Just enjoying the time I could spend with my children and grandchildren. Taking a few days to drive down with them and help them get unpacked.

I considered this the only rational thing to do. When you teach all year long, it's easy for plenty of things to get lost--the ability to find your work to your writing, to finish a long lost video project, to, I don't know, improve your character in countless ways. Summer sometimes feels like the set-aside for catching up on all of this. Which puts a lot of pressure on summer, kind of making it the antithesis of what summer can be, in a way--pressure-filled, prone to disappointment, insomnia- and stress-filled.

All this is to say: at the beginning of January, I promised 2015 that I would enjoy my life. How's it going, you ask? Well, I just started a little list of things that were to be evidence of my success at my "just enjoy it" project. This list immediately began to depress me. It started to seem like an evaluation, which in turn made me feel that my own project was beginning to boss me around.

Oh, how I hate it, when my own project starts to boss me around. For one thing, it makes me feel ridiculous. Which, let's face it: that conundrum of the self bossing itself around? Absurd on the face of it.

So, for today: oatmeal, talking to my Scotland daughter and my soccer coach son. Writing, research, nap, reading a book of poems. Spaghetti with an excellent sauce. Lovely salad. Vegetable acquisition. An excellent flavor of Izzy soda. These are the little joys of today, and if I'm perhaps feeling, at the moment, a little Sunday blue, maybe I just have to sit with that, let it pass, and take it to bed and then wake up to tomorrow, where I'll again practice just enjoying it.

The "Just Enjoy It" Project.

My son--the one who's moving away in a little over a week--called and said he'd like to bring the boys over for lunch. My youngest son decided we should make Chuckwagon, a dish of his own devising, I believe, that consists of a box of macaroni and cheese, cooked up, mixed with a can of chili con carne, with grated cheese mixed in, garnished with salsa and/or hot sauce. I felt fortunate that I had leftover Thai food.


We discovered that among the canned goods in our pantry were precisely zero cans of chili con carne. So I sent my son off to pick one up.

"Need anything else?" he asked, almost out the door.

"Some generic version of Claritin?" I needed it because for some reason, I'm in the throes of an allergy. At least I think it's an allergy. Anyway, I'm in the throes of something that is making me sneeze and making my eyes water, and I do not love it, not one bit.

When you're in the throes of an ailment, it's hard to just enjoy things. But not impossible. Yesterday, for instance, I found a couple of lawn chairs--bright red chaises--that were marked down at Target, which I bought up like a champ. I brought them home and set them up on the patio; I gave one the sit test, which it passed with flying colors.

Last night, I told the historian that I was going to eat my breakfast out there in one of those chairs. Which I did, whilst sniffling a bit and noting that the wind was likely to give me trouble. Which it has.

Even so: there are apples on the apple trees, and cherries on the cherry trees. The heat has had its way with the roses, but there are still roses. The wind in the trees sounds beautiful. My youngest son went with me to Glover's for some plants and potting soil--I discovered a bunch more empty pots that I had forgotten about, so there's a new garden wonderland that I'm about to make happen. Or something like that. I bought a fig tree. Will I be able to make it thrive? Who can say?

The boys and their dad came over for lunch. Chuckwagon was not a hit with either grandson. The solution for this dilemma was obviously a couple of quesadillas. We chatted and discussed and ate, and then they were off. I took another dose of medicine.

I just put clean sheets on the bed and decided which of the kajillion handbags that are basically the same shape I should keep and which I should give away. The laundry is almost done. I'll get to work on those plants later this evening, when it's cooler and maybe the wind will have died down.

I'm in the throes of summer. I have allergies. It's hot, and there's hot wind. But it's a pretty great day even so.

Things I am enjoying right about now.

1. The first-thing-in-the-morning sun, and the last-thing-at-the-end-of-the-day sun.

2. The moon in a nest of clouds.

3. The last tomatoes.

4. The last peaches.

5. Walking the dog in the late evening.

6. My adult children, with their full beautiful lives and the little connections I have with them almost every day.

7. A bagel in the morning.

8. Re-acquainting myself with how sentences work (the subject matter of one of my classes).

9. Choosing clothes to wear every day.

10. Looking forward to a movie tomorrow night. What movie? Who cares?

Wait for it . . . the annual Best Movies So Far post, coming up this weekend.

2009.

In the new year I plan to fret less, walk the dog lots, make some music, hear more live music, read for pleasure, write lots, and in general value what is wonderful about my life:  family, friends, a creative life.  Thanks to all of you who read this from time to time for being a part of it. Happy New Year to you all.